Why do we homeschool?

Next week is National School Choice Week, and to celebrate I am helping some other local moms organize a town hall meeting featuring a panel discussion about educational options in our area. I don't plan to serve as a panelist but the process of organizing, coordinating and publicizing this event has made me think really hard about what I would say if I were one.

First, a little background information: I'm not married to homeschooling from an ideological standpoint. I don't think our public education system is "broken." (I do wish it were better funded and better organized, though.) I am not a religious fanatic. I'm not a granola-crunching hippie type who thinks public education is an industrial-military brainwashing scheme. (But for the record, I do like granola a lot.) I'm not a wealthy snob mom who thinks my kids are too good for school and can afford to pay private tutors to educate them instead. Nor am I an example of any of the other various and amusing stereotypes of homeschooling parents.

So why do we homeschool? In short, because right now, in the area where we live, it is the best option for our family. Public school works really well for a lot of families, and that's great. Private schools offer a lot of different approaches and philosophies to education, giving parents who can afford it a lot of choice in how their kids will be educated, and that's great too. Community-supported charter schools can focus their efforts on serving the specific educational needs of the students in their communities without wasting resources on things those students don't need, which is wonderful. Homeschooling, in all its many manifestations, works too. If you're skeptical, read this article.

We didn't start out planning to homeschool. We settled on it as a temporary fix to tide us over while we explored what other schooling options might meet our daughter's unique educational needs. After two years of visiting schools, talking to other parents, reading volumes upon volumes about educational theory and practice, and exhausting myself in the process, I have come to the realization that what we are already doing is better than any of the other options we have explored.

Special needs, you ask? Yes. My daughter is gifted (highly gifted, we think, although we haven't had her assessed yet), and it turns out that giftedness is one of the most severely underserved special educational needs there is. My daughter started reading organically at age three. For a six-month period starting just before she turned five, whenever people asked her "What's your favorite animal?" her response was "Australopithecus afarensis." I'm not making that up. She started reading chapter books at age five. Shortly after her sixth birthday, she picked up a copy of Charlie and the Chocolate factory that I had bought intending to read out loud with her, completed it within 24 hours and, as I discovered when I quizzed her about it, retained 100% of it and understood about 80% - not only was my kindergartener reading at a 4th grade level, she was SPEED-reading and, for the most part, comprehending at a 4th grade level! At the beginning of her (technically) 1st grade year, she became interested in evolutionary biology. She read everything about it that she could get her hands on for several weeks, at the end of which she could summarize the various theories of the origins of life on earth, name and describe the different kingdoms of living things (all of them!), explain the difference between prokaryotic and eukaryotic organisms, and give you a lecture on the importance of cyanobacteria in the development of the earth's atmosphere. And that, I realized, is the most beautiful part of learning at home...she is free to study everything she is interested in, to whatever extent it suits her, without wasting her time on things she already knows while she waits for everyone else to catch up.

But what about GATE, you ask? Our district's Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program starts in 3rd grade and mostly consists of keeping gifted kids in class with their same-age peers but giving them extra work to do. When we were looking at kindergarten options I left several messages for our district's GATE office inquiring about testing and other services for my gifted five-year-old. They never returned my calls.

But surely, you say, there must be private schools with gifted programs in your area? Well, yes, but the very few schools in our area with truly individualized curricula aren't equipped to cope with my daughter's other special need, which is OCD. She's had periodic episodes of obsessive-compulsive behavior since she was three, and, being that it's an anxiety disorder, her condition causes her to freak out and scream at the top of her lungs occasionally, without stopping and for no obvious reason. Schools aren't equipped for that. Teachers aren't trained to deal with it. However, with the help of a very good family therapist, we have been able to manage it at home very effectively, without disrupting anyone else's learning experience or inspiring any well-meaning "experts" to try to "help" by diagnosing my child with all manner of behavioral and/or developmental disorders. I'm not just being paranoid about that last part - I've actually been warned by three different actual experts who know & understand my child that we should expect to deal with that if we ever go the public school route.

So, that is why we homeschool. We might school some other way in the future if it turns out to be the best thing at that time, and that will be good too. For now, though, we will stick with what works at this moment, in this place. My daughter is thriving. Our family is thriving.

Why would we do anything else?

If it hurts you're probably doing it wrong

...which can be said about oh, so many things, but in this case I'm talking about 'me-time'. That's right, those precious few hours a week (if we're extremely lucky) that moms get to spend on ourselves and ONLY ourselves. It occurred to me recently that everything I do for me-time these days involves pain in one form or another, and to be honest, I find this a little disturbing.

For example, on the rare occasion that I get me-time, I spend most of it exercising. I power-hike one of several routes around my extremely hilly neighborhood, or if me-time happens to occur on a Sunday afternoon, I go to a bellydance class that a friend of mine teaches. Now, exercise is great and contributes substantially to my energy level and sense of well-being and all, but because I don't do it every day, it kind of hurts. Especially the next day. Especially if I forgo stretching afterwards in favor of getting somebody's dinner ready or cleaning up a mess or sorting out kid drama, which is almost inevitably the case when I get home from me-time workouts.

I also make it a point to go in for bikini sugaring appointments every few weeks. It's a great me-time experience in that I get to hang out at an upscale salon with very peaceful ambience and excellent customer service where they serve me coffee and pastries while I wait for for my appointment to start. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the sugaring process, it's similar to waxing but uses a mixture of sugar and other stuff that manages to grab only the hair and not the layers of skin that wax tends to take with it. In other words it gives the same smoooooth result but it's not even in the same ballpark of pain and post-treatment rashiness as waxing, which is why I do it instead. I wouldn't exactly say it's a picnic, though. There's pretty much no way to make getting your pubic hair ripped out by the follicles a completely pain-free experience. (Btw, the hubby & I both agree it's TOTALLY worth it!)

And every once in a great while, I spend my me-time shopping. I hate shopping. I may be the only gal in The OC who doesn't get any benefit whatsoever from retail therapy. I find shopping psychologically painful and I will avoid it at all costs until absolutely necessary. Trying on a whole bunch of clothes that mostly don't fit right and/or look weird just to find a couple of wearable items only serves as a reminder that, while I may be awesomely hot in my own unique way, I don't have the kind of figure the American fashion industry caters to. It's very discouraging and makes me consider moving to the tropics and adopting a nudist lifestyle. Also, in the case of bra shopping (which I really should consider doing in the near future, since I am still wearing nursing bras half the time in spite of the fact that my youngest weaned herself several months ago), it can be physically painful as well. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.

So I have been pondering why it should be the case that everything I do for myself hurts. Do I have a self-destructive streak? At one point in my life that was true, but I'm well over it now and I don't have the spare time or energy for that level of drama anymore, so I'm pretty sure that's not it. Do I harbor guilt about doing fun things without my kids? No, I can't really say that I do. Which leaves me with two conclusions. First, that my priorities tend to be oriented toward long-term benefit over instant gratification. Okay, I can live with that. Second, that I really SHOULD make it a point to schedule some me-time activities that DON'T hurt every once in a while.

That being said, I already have some really special me-time planned for next week. I have a whole hour set aside to relax in a comfortable chair under warm lights, listening to soothing music playing in the background while I get taken care of by somebody else for a change.

That's right.

I have a dentist appointment.

But enough about me...

Oh, wait, I mean MORE about me!

Recently some of you have been posting comments like "Who ARE you, you captivating woman of mystery?" Okay, I might be paraphrasing. At any rate, I'm a new blogger and you guys don't know me very well so here is a list of the five most interesting things I can think of to tell you about myself, in no particular order:

1. I can belly dance.

It's by far the coolest thing I know how to do. I've been studying, performing and occasionally teaching the art of raqs as-sharqi (a.k.a. danse orientale, Middle-Eastern dance, belly dance) for going on twelve years. I got into it by accident, and it's a pretty good story that I will save for another post. I own a number of very fancy costumes, some of which are covered in bling, some of which are designed for various folkloric dance forms and most of which make me look dead sexy. In a completely classy and respectable way, of course. I will post some pictures of those too.

Belly dancing is the only athletic pursuit I've ever been good at and therefore the only one I've stuck with for any length of time. And, really, as long as I do it regularly it's the only workout I need. It has also been the most powerful form of therapy I've ever found; learning to dance has been the biggest factor in getting me over the body-image issues I developed during childhood and it has allowed me to regain ownership of my body, psychologically speaking. Someday when I'm feeling brave like Kato I will tell you more about that.

2. I'm a mom.

You've met Thing One and Thing Two already, and I will be posting more about them later. A lot more. This post, however is about me. I'm a little stumped as to what to say about myself as a mom without talking about my husband and kids, but here goes...I like to think I'm kind of a cool mom. I let my kids do body art with markers and paint, and I let them make messes as long as they're willing to clean up after themselves (with help, when necessary). I cook with my kids and get them involved in picking out food and preparing the family's meals. We listen to and occasionally play some really good music together. We spend a lot of time outside and take field trips to interesting places. We read together a lot. I try to give my kids the space to figure things out for themselves and also to be supportive and give them guidance when they need it. I try to help them be competent at the things they need and want to do (as opposed to alternately doing everything for them and ignoring them like my parents did for me), which takes a lot of patience now but will hopefully make things easier for all of us later. I also nag and yell and give a lot of time-outs, which my kids really do not think is cool.

I don't remember ever doing things with my parents as a kid - oh sure, I remember doing things near them or in the same room with them, but nothing that I could really say we were all actively involved in together. When we weren't in school my brother and I were mostly left to our own devices (our favorite device being the tv, of course) and occasionally we got taken to do kid activities that the 'rents would observe and not really get involved in. As a result I try to make sure I have fun (and also do chores and other things that aren't so much fun) WITH my kids every day so they can have a sense of belonging and being part of a community that was completely missing from my household growing up.

3. I have superpowers.

You might have heard about people who are supertasters - whose perception of taste is more acute than average and who are naturally suited for careers as chefs and sommeliers. Well, I'm a superfeeler, in both the tactile and emotional senses. For whatever reason, my nervous system is wired so that I am more sensitive and responsive to physical and emotional stimulation than most people are. Things that are merely annoying to most people are painful for me (like tickling), and things that others find painful are sometimes almost unbearable...of course I bear them anyway, being the kind of hardcore badass that I am. You'd think it would work the other way too - that things that feel good to most people would feel astoundingly awesome to me - and it does to a limited extent, but a lot things that other people find very enjoyable, like massages for example, just tend to overstimulate me. I also have highly sensitive emotional radar; for instance, I'm the kind of person who can walk into a room containing people who are behaving in a perfectly civil manner and know without a shred of doubt that they just finished having a fight because of the tension level in the room. This has actually happened on more than one occasion. I absorb other people's stress, and also their joy; at times I have trouble distinguishing my own emotions from those of people around me. Fortunately my levels of sensitivity are decreasing as I get older. And, of course, giving birth (twice!) has radically changed my perspective on pain.

I also have superhearing - which turns out to be more of a curse than a blessing when you live with small, noisy children - and according to a test I took at one of the EPCOT science exhibits when I was in high school I have amazing color perception, for whatever that's worth. What I haven't figured out yet is how to use my superpowers for good. I'll keep you posted, though.

4. I love food.

Yeah, sure, everybody loves food. We have to if we want to survive as a species. My love for food goes waaaaay beyond the survival instinct, though. When I say I love food, I mean EVERYTHING about food - flavor, texture, recipes, my relationship to it, its relationship to culture and the economy, the politics of it, the ecology of it, religious traditions surrounding it, where it comes from, how it's processed - I find it all utterly fascinating. I am the kind of person who will stuff you with food anytime you come over to my house. In fact, one good use I HAVE found for the aforementioned superpowers is to figure out the best things to serve people based on how they're feeling.

I also firmly believe that food can save the world. Okay, maybe it's not be the ONLY thing that can save the world but certainly an integral part of any world-saving solution. Supporting local agriculture can help stabilize your local economy and cut down on fossil fuel consumption and the resulting environmental impact. Improving school lunches and teaching families from all socioeconomic sectors how to eat healthier would do more for healthcare reform in the US than any bill that Congress could possibly pass. Organizations like Heifer International and the UN's World Food Programme work to increase food security worldwide, which has measurably resulted in not only in better health for the recipients of such programs, but also in greater equality for women and less violent conflict over resources, among other benefits. Okay, okay I have enough to say about this to fill at least ten more posts, so I'll save the rest for later.

5. I am musical.

I have studied various forms of music since I was...um...I don't remember exactly. Little, anyway. I've always been fascinated by music, at times obsessively so, because it's one of those things like poetry that appeals to my brain on both a structural and emotional level. I played clarinet and trumpet in elementary school band; I took piano and guitar lessons off and on over the years. Okay, wow, so it sounds like I was some kind of musical prodigy...actually the reason I tried out so many instruments as a kid is that I kind of suck at playing instruments. It turns out I have poor hand-ear coordination. I love music and I feel like I get it on a level that a lot of other people don't, but I just couldn't find a way to produce it that I could stand to listen to until I tried voice lessons in ninth grade. Finally! An instrument that was always handy, that I didn't have to worry about tuning, that I could always - well, mostly always - count on to play the note I wanted it to play. Best of all, singing gave me a way to communicate with other people that I finally felt comfortable with...which is another long story that I will save for another time.

I stuck with the voice lessons all through high school and my first year of college, at which point I switched majors from music therapy to linguistics and no longer had the spare time or energy for singing in non-shower-related venues. Of course I kept singing in the car and around the house, and occasionally through the years I have found other musicians to jam with who thought it was cool to have a trained vocalist sit in with them. I also discovered through belly dancing that I actually do have enough hand-ear coordination to be a decent percussionist; I have picked up reasonably good djembe and dumbek technique over the last few years and I'm generally pretty handy with things that shake, rattle and jingle. Recently I served as the official Music Mom at Thing One's preschool co-op, which mostly involved singing, drumming, clapping, marching and leading preschoolers in doing what they do best: making noise. It turned out to be a lot more fun than I expected and it reminded me how much I miss making music when I don't get to do it regularly. Right now I'm playing around with the idea of putting together a regular family-friendly music circle with some friends, and I'll keep you posted on how that turns out.

So that's some interesting stuff about me. Hope you've enjoyed it. Stay tuned for more. And, hey, now I have a bunch of ideas for stuff to write about, so many thanks to all of you who have been egging me on politely encouraging me to write about myself. Blog ya later! :)

Thanks! And...um...wha?

A few days ago my buddy Lisa Marie over at The Domestication of a Party Girl gave me this:

W00t! An award! Just for typing some stuff! I don't even remember the last time I got an award for anything...probably sometime in high school and probably also for typing some stuff.

Thanks, Lisa! That totally made my day. You rock! :o)

So now what? Being new to blogging and also a product of the late Cretaceous period, I am not up to speed yet with all the social etiquette of the blogosphere. Or do we call it Blogland? Blogville? Anyway, I get that I'm supposed to pass this along to a deserving party...and that would be Kato for her "The Story of Me" series as well as her general awesomeness.

Apparently I'm also supposed to tell you some shit I made up interesting factoids about myself or something when I get an award? What's the deal with that? Any enlightenment you elder bloggers care to provide will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Basket case

It's official. I'm a basket case. I am totally, utterly, bat-poo, locopants cuh-raaaaaaazy.

For CSA organic baskets, that is. We've been members of South Coast Farms' CSA program - one of two organic farms in The OC offering CSA - off and on for the last three years and mere words can't express how insanely awesomely deliciously wonderful fresh, local, seasonal produce is. Check out the basket we picked up yesterday:

LOOK at ALL THOSE VEGGIES!!! And underneath those luscious greens were a whole bunch of oranges, grapefruits, kiwis and other fruits, all picked at or slightly before the peak of ripeness. And if you're still not impressed, remember it's still early in the growing season...by July my basket will literally be overflowing with organic goodness.

If you're not familiar with the concept of Community Supported Agriculture, read this. I'm not here to explain what CSA is, I'm just here to explain why it's the single best thing ever to happen in the history of cooking and eating. Or at least in the recent history of cooking and eating.

If you're a fellow Gen-Xer, you probably ate a lot of fast food as a kid, and your exposure to vegetables was probably limited, like mine, mostly to the frozen and canned varieties. That's because your parents, like mine, grew up taking nutrition for granted. It's not their fault; when the pre-boomers and baby boomers were growing up, they weren't exposed to the same levels of sugar, additives, artificial ingredients, pesticide residues and commercial messages glorifying blatantly unhealthy foods that members of Generation X (which, incidentally, is a term I haven't heard anyone use lately...are we called something else now?) were exposed to as kids. They didn't think a whole lot about what to feed us beyond cost-effectiveness and possibly some vague sense of food groups because when they were kids you just ate what you ate and it was good enough.

I was in my mid-twenties before I discovered what really fresh fruits and vegetables tasted like. And by "really fresh" I don't mean fresh off the grocery store display after being picked green and sitting in the back of a hot truck for several days on their journey from some distant field in another state. I mean actually FRESH fresh, as in straight out of the earth...the difference is enormous. I recently read a biography of Alice Waters in which she is quoted as saying something to the effect of "gourmet cooking consists of taking the freshest, ripest, most delicious ingredients and doing as little as possible to them." And it's absolutely true. If you have the freshest, ripest, tastiest fruits and veggies, they will taste amazing no matter what you do to them, and that's where CSA comes in.

Picking up a basket of fresh-picked vegetables and fruits every week or every other week ensures that you ALWAYS have the freshest and ripest available. It also provides the opportunity to learn about new stuff you might not have worked with before. For instance, I never would have discovered the joy of fennel bulbs sliced thin and roasted with potato wedges without the CSA program. CSA baskets get more credit than anything else for turning me into a gourmet. Or at least setting me on the path to gourmet-ism.

Also, local organic baskets keep organic farming alive and well right here in the local economy. Here in The OC! A region that is, despite the economic downturn, still trying to sell itself as the Silicon Valley of SoCal and where, consequently, agriculture has given way to industry and most of the fertile farmland has been paved over and built into office parks. More organic farming means not only better produce, but also better soil and less environmental toxicity. It also means less toxic runoff and therefore healthier waterways and beaches, which are a big deal here in The OC. So the farmers support the local ecology & economy, I support the farmers and my family gets fresh fruits and veggies all the time. Everybody wins! Yaaaaaaay!!! The whole arrangement makes me so happy I want to jump up and down with glee just thinking about it.

I encourage all of you to look into your local CSA programs. Do some web searches using the terms "CSA," "organic farming" and the name of your city. If you love to cook, sign yourself up! Paying for an entire season up front (if that's what your local CSA's do) might give you sticker shock, but when the cost is broken down per basket, it works out to about the same price or a little less than buying the same organic produce at your local grocery store, assuming you can find any organic produce at your local grocery store. If you like your fresh salads but don't want to mess around with the other stuff, find a friend to split the cost and the contents of your baskets with. If you just aren't into vegetables, think about giving a season of CSA membership as a gift to a friend or relative who likes to cook...they will probably invite you over for a home-cooked meal to say thank-you. Or if you're feeling charitable, find out if your CSA program donates baskets to any local orphanages, soup kitchens or similar organizations and sign up to support them for a season.

Do it for your health, your community, your local ecology and your gourmet sensibilities. Whatever the reason, do it! Pretty soon you'll be a basket case too.

My big idea for today...

Yesterday was 3/14, celebrated as Pi Day by nerds everywhere, including myself, so I baked a spinach frittata to celebrate (get it? Pie for Pi day?). Today is the oft quoted Ides of March, so I'm planning to make a Caesar salad to serve with supper. That got me thinking: I've seen a lot of "365 Days of Blahblahblah" cookbooks and I've seen a couple of different guides to holidays for every day of the year (albeit mostly obscure and/or commercially fabricated ones), but I've never seen anyone combine them into a cookbook of holiday recipes for every day of the year.

Holiday recipes! Every day! OMG!!!

It would have to include any traditional recipes associated with major religious and secular holidays, of course, plus more obscure and whimsical fare for those lesser known and recently adopted holidays that may not have evolved their own cooking traditions yet.

Is it just me or is that the awesomest idea ever?!

Okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just me. But it's a potentially entertaining source of answers for the eternal question of what to serve the family on any given day. Plus it's a different angle to try when I'm pushing new stuff on my picky eaters, e.g. "hey, kids, it's World Paleontology Day! Let's celebrate with a bowl of velociraptor soup!" (since you can't get velociraptor at the store these days you'd just substitute chicken, which IS descended from the therapods, after all). At any rate, it's an idea I plan to keep playing with.

Happy Ides of March, everybody!

Introducing Thing One and Thing Two

"In this box are two things
I will show to you now.
You will like these two things,"
Said the cat with a bow.
"I will pick up the hook.
You will see something new.
Two things. And I call them
Thing One and Thing Two."
         -- Dr. Seuss, "The Cat in the Hat"

In honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday earlier this week, I would like to introduce you to my children, whom I affectionately address as Thing One and Thing Two on a regular basis.

As you can see, they are winsome and sweet,
with large brains in their heads and small shoes on their feet.
They walk around covered in colorful clothes,
and often in paint from their hair to their toes.

Thing One (in the blue shirt) is going on six;
she homeschools and her favorite class is physics,
with math and astronomy both tied for second.
Her interests and talents are unique, so we reckoned

our town's Kindy classrooms might not be so nifty
for a kid who's been blessed with an IQ that's gifty.
She learns best in motion, has high energy,
and Thing One's also gifted with mild OCD.

Thing Two (in the orange shirt) is recently two,
and at times can be terrible, yes it is true.
Like her big sister, she's crafty and wise,
with mischievous giggly sparks in her eyes.

Where Thing One is savvy with science and sums,
Thing Two loves to dance and to bang on the drums.
She'll size you right up and she'll give you what-for,
then she'll make you laugh, then she'll do it some more.

Thing Two is a feeler; Thing One is a thinker.
Thing One is quite stubborn; Thing Two's just a stinker.
And both Things are beautiful, both of them smart,
both into sports, into music and art.

They both love to laugh, and to help and to know,
and when they are happy they both nearly glow.
To some they are friends and to others they're nieces;
to me they are daughters, and I love them to pieces!